I Don't wanna die without any scars<3

I'm pretty content with my life right now..

2008-03-09T18:13:31Z

*Fahad's Home..
* I'm doing well in school now that I don't need to have 12 units all the time..
*my baby girls are good Sophie's growing out of her clothes before we even get the chance to button them..
* I LOVEEE church I find myself really looking forward to Wednesday nights.
* I LOVE my friends even though I miss Sam, Jordan ,Tim, and Gaby
* I need to get a Blockbuster card so I can rent Casper to watch with Fahad while we eat AMAZZING tacos
* I cannot wait to go to Joshua tree again this year once it warms up =)
* Spring Break soon.. too bad it wont be warm enough for Joshua tree! =/

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-10-16T23:55:00

2005-10-17T06:56:00Z

Unisom are my friends.. babies don't sleep yhat well.. i dont smile much anymore

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-09-15T19:56:00

2005-09-16T02:55:12Z

on Tuesday.. i had an MRI.. then today i had to go in for a CT scan.. they injected me with radioactive glucose. to see how my body would deal with it.. i guess it did what it was supposed to.. i feel dead&worthless.. blaah <3...X

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-09-04T16:51:00

2005-09-04T23:54:30Z

I finally got to donate money for the hurricane disaster today.. i wish there was more i could give them though..

i baked a chicken pot pie for my mom yesterday.. then basically had to eat it myself thats pretty much why i stopped cooking.. oh well.. if the boys were home it would of been gone in a second.. x

WOW

2005-08-20T16:51:26Z

my Lovely friend Andrew came over last night and brought "The Score".. since it was an Edward Norton movie i hadn't seen.. so of corse it was Amazing.. then for some reason this morning.. i woke up and when i sat up i decided i wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher.. wow.. i think im gonna go watch kindergarten cop now.. <3... X

My mom considers today my birthday..

2005-08-14T04:53:05Z

one year ago today.. i trusted this man named Farzad Massoudi to shave the right side of my head, clean that bald spot, then cut it open with a scalpel,then use a saw to remove a piece of my skull, he took out the tumor and saved my life.. Ü i ate a ton of sushi and had plum wine to celebrate with my mom.. its Fahad's birthday.. i wish he didnt think he was a Jinx cuz hes not!! and i LOVE him!

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-07-26T20:04:00

2005-07-27T03:14:56Z

im a girl searching for sugar in a diabetics kitchen.. and i would really like to know who the person is who decides the differences between wants and needs.... thankyou i really dont like when my sisters not around.. i like waking up at 3:30 am to see her hunched over on the floor painting these AMAZING pictures.. i wish i was 1/4 as talented.. but i always tell her that she sucked up all the creativity & talent from our mothers womb.. anyways i wish she had a bigger better lit area to paint.. i miss her.. <3XO<12345 MEL

All i can do now is PRAY..

2005-07-22T07:33:11Z

I really hope my sisters trip goes well.. im worried about her being all the way over in Turkey.rally hope she & the whole mission team stay safe..she was joking around about it a lot..stuff like.. "if i dont get blown up ill see u in 2 weeks..but i honestly dont know what i would do without her.. i think i would give up on myself and life and everyone/everything.. but im sure she'll be fine i hope she has fun while shes there.. =/...X

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-07-19T00:27:00

2005-07-19T07:26:12Z

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-07-19T00:02:00

2005-07-19T07:01:01Z

sorry about that... i had a crap filled day.. i feel better.. Ü

CKY,CKY,CKY

2005-07-06T07:52:36Z

on 6/30/05~i met CKY and for everyone who knows me they know that the happiness & excitement from that nearly killed me.. if that can possibly be said in a good way the conversation went something like this..

***all being said while the 4 of us were posing 4 a picture
chad ~"so what happened to u?"
Me ~Brain tumor temporary paralysis
Deron<333~"well r u gonna be okay?"
Me~"yea it'll take time but it'll all come back 100%
Jess Margera ~.. "wow! how long ago was this?"
me~ "10 almost 11 months ago"
Whole group.. WOW!OMG! That wasnt long ago at all...

it was beyond amazing!!***XO~NIGHTY NIGHT

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-06-20T10:35:00

2005-06-20T17:44:00Z

i graduated thursday!!! wow.. a few people who i really wanted to be there didnt make it...that was a little sad but im over it now...Everyone seems sad right now..tomorrow is my birthday =/ ill probably end up sitting on the couch watching the food chanel then on wed. ill go out w/ my mom & sister... tomorrow's the first official day of summer,longest day of the year, and my great grandma's second year living through her wedding anniversary without her husband.... X

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-06-03T13:13:00

2005-06-03T20:14:12Z

””

BLAHH

2005-05-18T20:28:29Z

IM BORRRRRRRRRRED!! I HAVE to go take my night school tests tomorrow at buena vista.. i dont really want to!but i do wanna graduate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-05-10T13:05:00

2005-05-10T20:00:30Z

so... i forgot to write that Joie moved out yesterday.. it made me sad.. i was in the room doing some homework and he came in to ask me 4 a hug..=( i went into the living room to find boxes filled with all his stuff.. it was a strange feeling...x

5th period strikes again..

2005-05-10T19:55:33Z

I went off campus for lunch today with Erica, Crystal,Danny and my pumpkin Chris(Kris) it was fun.. im drinking wendy's lemonade right now that makes me happy..but,im supposed to get this tradition of excellence award this thursday.. at the same time im supposed to be taking a test 4 night school.. i could go take the test earlier or even on wednesday. but i have no ride.... now the worries have come back to me.. it was nice being away from the anxiety 4 while.. OH WELL..X oh yea.. pray 4 kelli's doggy =( i think he'll be okay=)

bored in 5th once again

2005-04-12T19:58:41Z

yesterday.. i worried about finding a ride 2 night school sooo much i almost made my self throw up.. i just layed down till the nasuea went away.if i miss 2 of those classes i get dropped i need this class to graduate. tonight my mom will take me.. thursday i will most likely take a cab.. grrreat! well i feel a little beter Jenn (<3Brian's<3) wife called me last night to remind me church will be on tuesday 4 the nixt 10 weeks instead of on weds. night when i dont have school.. that sux much <3Kristina<3 left me a note in my folder that i found this morning.. that made me smile.. im reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaalllllllllly sleepy..

serious happiness

2005-04-03T20:20:34Z

oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! i cant describe how amazing last night was!!!!! i kissed Bono on the cheek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i held the tears back until he left.. kristina and i sat in her car 4 a little while to collect hysterical selves.. U2 were amazing as i assumed they would be.. ive seriously never loved my cane so much before! 1st the whole meeting a hero thing then awesome seats Ü last night couldnt have been better.. im glad i was there with my sister..i wouldnt of rather been with anyone else in this entire world.. i guess the whole no Mexico thing happned 4 a reason

Ü

2005-03-21T01:18:57Z

i bought my prom dress today.. i really really love it, i had about 7 dresses in the dressing room but after i tried on the first one i didnt even bother trying anything else on.. i love it soo much! its black and the front looks like a white corset with a black ribbon that criss crosses and ties.. im gonna buy some black lowtop converse to match it since i have to wear the leg brace. im happy..i also saw my great grandma today shes doing good..especially for a 96 year old she walks faster than any old woman ive ever seen !! <3xo i feel a little better now

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-03-15T13:21:00

2005-03-15T21:23:25Z

im really happy today... its weird and nice.. my lovely lovely kristofer told me its nice to have me back, after about a week of sadness.. hahaha i told him i think i just need about a week or so of depression once in a while... not even boring 5th period is bringing me down..weird! i like happiness, my MRI is on wed. not today.. mabye thats why im so happy today im not even very scared about it.. i know ill be okay... or mabye its the possibility of church tomorrow..hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?! Ü

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-03-09T11:08:00

2005-03-09T19:07:35Z

im in 5th period again.. my right hand is numb and im not sure why, Mr blanchette is so freakin funny! he just came in here and saw a pic of my scar i had then asked me i they found anything inside my head or if it was jusyt full of air i just said shutup!! hahaha i love that guy, he also told me to stay away 4rm boys cuz their satan's work, he saw a picture of bono<3 i was looking at lol Ü i really hope i can go to church tonight, =x if i dont talk to brian soon im gonna go crazy!<3

sometimes the sun peaks through the clouds

2005-02-27T06:26:28Z

today was muuuuuuch better than yesterday.. sammy jarod and i went to the mall then watched The Butterfly Effect after she came over to show me her new ultrasound pictures.. her babys a healthy little girl!i kept woundering what their baby's gonna look like she would b soo cute if she got Jarods skin tone but sam's bright blue eyes! looking at all the little pink clothes made me reeeeally excited i can't believe shes gonna have a baby in 5 months!! i cant wait!!!

no really...dont worry about it.. i have NO feelings!!

2005-02-26T17:40:50Z

so last night sucked=( =( =( =(... except for the moment i convinced my mom into letting me go to Mexico over spring break!! yaaaay.. i really hope i see Brian<3 before wed. so i can tell him im going cuz im really excited,ack now i just have to raise the money!

"sometimes you can't make it.. best you can do is to fake it"

2005-02-25T02:58:35Z

i really hate the way i feel right now....im gonna get to go see ♥u2♥
with ♥Kristina♥!!!!! im really excited but im not sure how im gonna pay yvette back with all the money i dont have.. oh well at least i get to go !!!!i really hope my mom lets me go to mexico over spring break to build houses for the needy little children, i feel really unhappy and anxious right now.. i dont remember the last time i slept a whole night through... mabye its cuz i have an MRI next month?oh well i think if i knew what im soo nervous & scared about all the time id' be much happier oh well.. <3kbye

jaxbrokenhart @ 2005-02-14T18:48:00

2005-02-15T02:53:21Z

so... today has sucked harder than i ever thought possible! i had to walk to vons to buy the cats food cuz they were wasting away & my mother has no time.. <3he moved away, of corse right when i start school i really believe its against some law 4 me 2 be happy.. well i hope ur valentines day doesn't murder ur spirit! <3...x